natural & spontaneous.

I’m going for it, lovies. I’m getting an MFA. I got the email from the program administrator at Queens yesterday that I have to make up my mind – for real this time. No more “next semester” this or “maybe next year” that. My time is up. And I’m going for it. I got the email yesterday, and bought the books this morning. I’M DOING IT!

I’m scared. I’m totally petrified. The motto of the program is “Write Where You Live,” but what if I can’t? I can barely keep up with this blog! What if I can’t be creative after I work all day, and what if I fall asleep trying to read on a Saturday morning? I’m scared. I’m going for it.

I’ll go to Charlotte two weeks a year, and in two years I’ll have an MFA in Fiction Writing. You’re probably wondering why on earth I want to do a thing like that. I have a steady job, Alex is in a very practical graduate program, what’s the point? The point is that I love writing. I don’t do very well with the process, and I sometimes have no idea what I’m doing, but I love writing. I love taking experiences – real and make-believe – and making them into a story. I love making a character. And knowing a character. And being that character when I write about them if I want to – or for that matter, whenever I feel like it. I love it, and I’m going to do it. I’m going to try it. I’m going to see where it takes me.

It costs money, and it costs time. Other than that, it doesn’t disturb my life. I’ll still go to work every day, I’ll still get married in June (!!!), I’ll still keep pinching pennies. I’ll still make dinner, I’ll still try to find time to work out, I’ll still take naps. I’ll just read more. And write a lot. And use my paid time off for weeks of workshops and seminars. I’ll learn more about literature and more about craft and more about myself. My life will still be mine, just richer. And maybe a little busier. :)

I’m doing it.



Filed under the back burner.

7 responses to “natural & spontaneous.

  1. Sara

    You have got guts girl. You do it. Persevere as long as you love it. Don’t even worry about the process – I get pissed at writing, especially in my so-called blog. I mean, I just want to chuck it out the window sometimes. Go people watching and invent stories. That’s the fun part anyways right? There are some crazy people out there – find them and invent their histories.

    You are better than I am, I still can’t decide what bloody program to pursue – MBA, JD, Other? No idea. I am too all over the place and interested in weird crap. Make sure to post your stories for us loving devoted readers of yours to peruse.

    Cheers to you!

    • oh, sara. i miss you. glad to hear you get pissed at writing, too – isn’t it funny to sometimes be mad at things we love so much? as for the crazy people – i’m looking for them. in the world and in my own head. (hope that doesn’t make me sound like one of them!) if you find any good ones, let me know. :)

      and for the record, you’ll be brilliant at whatever you decide to pursue. absolutely brilliant. and after all, weird crap is the best crap – and i have no doubt that you’ll find a way to turn it into the path you want to take. i know it. xo

  2. NIKKI!!! I’m so excited and happy for you!! You will do awesome, don’t worry about a thing. I love reading your writing and you SHOULD share it with the world! Your writing is real, from the heart, everyday. And that makes for some fantastic reading! And being a grad student, although difficult, is satisfying in some weird, we-are-geeks-who-love-to-read-and-write way.
    Congrats, Nikki! I’m super happy for you!

    • thank you, patty! it’s going to be a wild ride, but i think i’m ready for it. and if i’m not, i’m going to make myself ready. :) it’s certainly nice to know i’m not the only geek out there! i’ll definitely keep you updated.

  3. lauryn

    wooooooooooooooo! im so glad you decided to do it! i was hoping you would!

  4. Nikki,
    good for you! I’ve always thought that whatever we do that enriches our mind, adds flavor to our life and defines our character, is worth diving into head first. Sounds like that’s exactly what you’re doing and I’m glad! You courageous and brave woman, you! Kudos for you!

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